I have accumulated quite a bit of wisdumb this month...if you missed them, here's the list.
150 some odd things you might NOT want to do.
NOTE - I learned just today (6/4) (a reader pointed it out), that some of the links to the original stories have expired pages. I have no control over that, yet I apologize for your trouble if you click through and find nothing.
2. Carry a knife to school even you are the teacher.
3. Let your horse leave a 'deposit' in the bank
4. Try for the state record in blood alcohol content.
5. Watch your friend get eaten by a crocodile.
Submit a link at Wisdumb's Wisdump.
6. Gain 240 lbs before losing it in a weight-losing competition
7. Let the fax be your reason for releasing the prisoner.
8. Let your charge get eaten by a crocodile.
9. Order a Winnie the Pooh phone through the post office.
10. Drive Drunk into a Police Station.
Submit a link at Wisdumb's Wisdump.
11. Push for the legal rights of the living dead.
12. Leave your only pair of pants at the dry cleaners
13. Kiss and show in public..aka Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty
14. Trust your financial advisors with your $5.5 million in lottery winnings
15. Put your hands ON that woman you are trying to smuggle into the US.
Submit a link at Wisdumb's Wisdump.
17. Attend the "Hey Day" celebration at Penn State if you are graduating.
18. Put your racy pictures on MySpace if you are a POM coach.
19. Waffle so much about history.
20. Let your kitten hang out with this bunch. Submit a link at Wisdumb's Wisdump. 21. Confuse Wisconsin Law by masturbating in a public library. 22. Speak too much of your mind while on campus in Colorado. 23. Bet your students you will kiss their feet when, well, you hope to lose. 24. Give a sex chat line number instead of the sex predator hotline number. 25. Roll your semi-truck over while checking on your doughnuts. Submit a link at Wisdumb's Wisdump. 26. Haze this boy and let his mother fiind out. 27. Page 911 when trying to contact your drug dealer. 28. Die before you are taken to court on corruption charges.
29. Answer the call to rescue a cat in a tree for a guy with a gun.
30. Give the cop your pot pipe instead of your driver's license.
Submit a link at Wisdumb's Wisdump.
31. Have sex with your 13-year old student.
32. Go shopping with irritable bowels.
33. Drink before going to a high school dance in Iowa.
34. Toss a 3-year old from a pedestrian overpass.
35. Meet Your Maker in the Restroom on a Plane.
36. Let those 5000 bunnies headiing to meet their Maker lose.
37. Answer your cell phone in Afghanistan. (VIRUS ALERT!)
39. Teach the kids where to bury those old car batteries.
40. Get between your girlfriend and her pet duck with a car.
41. Feed the crocodile your arm.
42. Forward that racy phone e-mail message from your lover to your fiance
43. Go to Directly to Jail in Colorado.
44. Show your date or the chaperones too much on your prom date.
45. Make your private English lessons, um, too private.
46. Let a fire from a Toto (not the dog) toilet dry your bottom after you do your business.
47. Stand under a pile of rubbish and animal crap.
48. Give $5 to your friend to kill you dad.
49. Go to Stockton, CA for a Snake and Gator meal.
50. Allow yourself to be taped when having sex with a teacher.
51. Bid $204,000 for a VW Golf owned by the Pope.
52. Surf off the Great Sea Lion Reef in Australia.
53. Ride your horse drunk in Kentucky.
54. Get in a bidding war for Natural Bridge, VA
56. Be born in Toronto...or Cincinnati for that matter. Everybody hates Toronto.
57. Get even with your ex-girlfriend by posting stickers and sexual remarks about her everywhere.
58. Be Born or Give Birth...this is too nasty. How could the detectives count that high?
59. Have a heart attack when robbing a convenience store.
60. Give a guy with a gun a bad hair cut.
61. Post Pictures of you and your wife having Sex on your web site.
62. Mess with Lesbians from New Jersey.
63. Pay a kid to pose to nude, no matter how nice a guy you are.
64. Hire a Best Buy Geek to Hook Things up While you are in the Shower.
65. To take off your swim suit when heading across campus.
66. Sit in front of a 300 pounder at a Mets game.
67. Use a public bathroom in Beijing.
68. Take Your Date-Dissing Lawsuit to the Wrong Courtroom
69. Pick up that Nice Looking Old Couple Headed to Arizona in Your NYC taxi cab.
70. Have THAT testicle removed unless you need $786,760!
71. Fill up your car in Myanmar when this guy is around.
72. Lose your leg while trying to make off with an ATM machine.
73. Take the Baby with you when you run from the police.
74. Use a Racial Slur on a Shipping Label
75. Drop Your Dance Partner on Her Head. 76. Ask the Two Wives You Already Have if it's Okay to Get a Third One. 77. Live in a 15 passenger VAN with Your 22 year old sister, mom, dad, German Shepherd and two cats. 78. Hire a Kidnapper on MySpace. 79. Give Your Students Way Too Much Homework. 80. Steal Candy, er, shoes, from a baby. 81. Try to Buy Beer in Japan IF you are from Russia and sailing a....
82. Get married again BEFORE divorcing your current wife.- policemen included!
83. Be 74-years old and steal 2 hot dogs in Wichita Kansas - 71 days in jail!
84. Show a horror flick to a group of kids AND their parents.
85. Bring your mouse onboard a plane bound to Japan.
86. Knock the guy over in a wheelchair who came to vote.
87. Accept this guy's offer on a free house.
89. Let rats run into the Alzheimer patient's mouth in your ward. Yuck!
90. Try to keep past drinking problems from your classmates.
91. Alienate voters when you are running for President of the United States.
92. Spend Time Thinking How to make the best use of boobs93. Raise the world's tallest dog
94. Sell Giant Easter Bunny Rabbits to North Korea
95. Get Hit By a Car On Purpose
96. Win $19 million and forget to claim it.
97. Make 500,000 counterfeit pencils, THEN get caught.
99. Engage in Child Prostitution even if you are 80 years old.
101. Leave your $17K in winnings under the slot machine.
102. Stuff your Toy Easter bunny with marijuana.
103. Kick in a $300k painting...just because you don't like the contents.
104. Call for an ambulance in Japan.
105. Lean too far over your sixth storey balcony, unless there is a pile of poop below.
106. Get caught on a security camera before murdering your date.107. Steal a prized mini-bike from a clown.
108. Claim to singlehandely raise the birth rate of Australia.
110. Broker a deal for sex with your 7-year old daughter.
111. Marry your cousin...even the law says it's okay.
112. Tell America that there is no way it can win the war in Iraq.
113. Give up because you are the daughter of a Yakuza boss.
114. Give someone $68,000 to study bogans.
115. Plan an earthquake during a marathon concert.
116. Let the Dogs out
117. Go Gravedigging
118. Sell yourself for $5000
119. Put Laxatives in Doughnuts and Give Them to Your Friends at School 120. Turn Your Dead Dad into a Diamond 121. Get 'Junior' Caught in the Machinery at the Saw Mill 122. Fight With Your Wife and Take it out on an Unsuspecting 18-year old. 123. Take a taxi from Beverly Hills, CA to North Carolina 124. Cough Too Much on an Airplane 125. Shoot a Bear in a Tree and Expect it to Fall onto a Trampoline
126. Let your daughter become a celebrity stalker. 127. Marry Someone Half Your Size 129. Demand Permission to do Something 131. Cheat on your master's thesis 132. Ask you mom for help when you are being picked on at university 134. Get out of the frying pan and into the fire. 135. Sign up to be one of the few good men in this guy's group. 137. Stay 'young' golfing in Medford, Or. 138. Bet this guy $50K that he can live to be 100. 139. Fall asleep in a recliner with a 4-month old infant. 141. Swerve to miss a cat no matter what your job is. 142. Practice Dentistry without a license. 143. Accept drycleaning from a lawyer and lose his pants. 144. Be born along with 93 million others to a guy named Wang 145. Attend school in India....Cow Urine?! 146. Butcher that dead alligator on your front lawn. 147. Have Five Too Many Children 148. Ignore this advice on preparing for an alien invasion 149. Do the 'feel right' thing and murder your friend 150. That Captain American Suit here and try to do this. 151. Show the kids in the school bus what you got, teach. 152. Alleviate boredom by creating a dry ice bomb. 153. Be too creative in your writing What have you learned NOT to do? Wanna share?
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