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Jul 1
How I Learned to Pray....Part 11
Our family often spent weekends on the Ohio River. When Jerry was about nine years old he was in a boat and Della was in the water having just taken a tumble while skiing.

 

     “Look out!  Sumdin’ is a floatin’ rat by you” Jerry cried out in his best Kentucky hillbilly imitation.

 

 Floating within arms reach of Della was a dead man - number one. We called the Ohio Coast Guard but they were of no use. They threw a ski line, the yellow neoprene kind, around the corpse to pull it ashore but the line sliced right through an unidentifiable part of the body. Everyone then threw up their lunch – except the dead man.

 

“Leave it be,” the Ohio Coast Guard said as they pushed the lever forward on their cruiser and sped away. 

 

The Kentucky Coast Guard had seen worse, I suppose, because they quickly dragged the corpse up to the shore. The body was terribly bloated, that is until it touched dry land. Like air from a punctured balloon water exploded from its torso. More lunches were lost. One redneck coast guard sailor pulled off a boot from the dead man; the skin on the leg came with it leaving an exposed tibia. There was no more making fun of those Kentucky hillbillies after that. They were either tough as nails or just didn’t care what they came upon. After all, road kill is considered edible in those parts…no kidding.  

 


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