Insects, rodents and bugs have dreams, too. In place of their lot in life - to be hated, sent flying by a flick of the finger, or to be fish food, the little critters really want to be loved, admired, worshiped, rich, in the movies, have fan clubs and gosh, save the world, too. For all intents and purposes, they really wish to become superheroes.
As if it were true that when something is hoped for hard and long enough it becomes expected then is thought to be a right, a chance came for these lowly creatures to make it to the top, to have a marvelous lot in life, and to ultimately appear in a Hollywood blockbuster.
***It was a quid pro quo arrangement: accomplish the following three tasks, become a star in the comics, then the movies.***
1. Despite the usual perfunctory attention that is received ...you must become loved by little boys.
2. Given the ubiquitous fear the fairer sex has of you ...you must become hated by little girls.
3. Because we don’t want to work too hard at a lost cause….you must bring an established fan base such as might be accomplished by appearing in literature.
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Contestants were to appear and present their case in alphabetical order.
The ants went first. They proved to be strong and industrious but were sent flying along with cake crumbs and pieces of cheese by little boys and girls alike.
A group of four beetles came with their agent, (who by the way couldn’t spell). They had a huge and timeless following, but, girls and boys of all generations loved them.
The cockroach garnered no love or fame.
The frog...his tongue long enough to attach a yo-yo to proved quite popular among the boys while the girls scrunched their faces at the thought of touching them. But, there was no fan base, even on MySpace.
G, H, I … the committee watched, consulted and yawned.
Along came a mouse...first his big ears, then he brought in a girl friend in a red polka-dot dress, a silly dog, plans for a theme park, then another, his own movie studio, fame fortune and the decision to abrogate his entry in the contest to become a superhero.
N, O, P, Q….
The rat. "If my cousin can do it, I can, too!"
Why the quixotic rodent even thought to set up a kingdom in a far away land. Luxemburg - too hard to spell.
Swarms of his kin, their friends, and friends of friends followed him. The fan base grew and girls ran away. When then the last piece of the puzzle, a young boy showed up.
"If only he will love me,” thought the rat.
"Music?! A flute!? Where’s everyone going!? Come back!!"
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Then the spider, a loner type, the brown recluse spider, was offered a shot at fame.
"Tell you what," said the spider. "Count me out. I have melissophobia. I mean I can catch the little stingers in my web, but to be honest, I ain't about to get close to ‘em. And, what good’s a superhero who’s afraid of things anyway? Uh, just a second. I hear something."
"Muff! Muff! Will you get in here!"
"Just a minute, mom. Let me finish my cheese soup."
"Hurry up little miss. You can't be sitting around on that stool all day watching TV."
"Okay, Mom!"
"Spidey!? Spidey!? Are you in?" a judge asked.
"Hang on! Let me drop in to see this little girl and I'll be right back."
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And THAT is how Spiderman got his name.
Besides who would go to the movies to see Ratman, anyway?
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